The Ex-Files
by BleedingCoffee
Summary: "If we have unresolved issues with the people that we are seeing, we have to work past them before they will go away." It seems simple enough, so to get rid of his hallucination of Nathan Stark, Jack confesses his real issues with the dematerialized scientist. The Ex-Files episode...with a different conclusion. Jack/Nathan
1. The Truth is Out There

**AN:** Rewatched Season 4 and just had to rewrite The Ex-Files episode from another angle. Cross posted to A03 where screenshots are included and also Chapter 2 may be an M rating.

Also I couldn't come over from the Fullmetal Alchemist fandom and not drop some references. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

* * *

_The Ex-Files_

Chapter 1

**The Truth is Out There**

* * *

"Fine. You want to talk about feelings? Let's do it." Jack said as they walked back into his office and he verified they were alone. He put his hands on his hips and turned to Stark. "If this is about addressing my own unresolved issues then let's get it over with."

"About time." Stark chirped.

"My unresolved issue is _you_." Jack said.

"No shit."

"Because I've been in love with you and too afraid to let myself admit it for years." Jack continued.

"Of course...wait. What?"

"_You _Nathan Stark. _You_ show up in my life taking your shirt off and showing up in my goddamned head doing the same thing. Somehow...looking even fitter than before even though you're fucking dead. You frustrating asshole."

Nathan watched Jack run his hands through his hair and then scrub them over his face.

"Of course I'm still interested in Allison, but I don't think of her the way I think about _you_. I kiss her in 1947 and come back to a new timeline and my first thought, after checking on Zoe, is to see if you're alive. You. You're the one I fantasize about, you're the one I couldn't have and you rubbed it in my face at every turn and I just let it stay my guilty pleasure. Allison was not exactly kind to me when I first came here and she took more opportunities to try and kill me than you ever did, but I fought you over her because I wanted _you_. Along the way, it just warmed her over, warmed me up to this idea that she's the one I can have my picture perfect life with. But I...never got over you. Not like how she did."

Nathan blinked and watched Jack start to walk around.

"First there was Callie, who by all means chased after me more than I chased after Allison, and I let that just die off because YOU were always in my peripherals reminding me what I really wanted."

Nathan let him talk, hands waving as he grew more frustrated with himself over his confession.

"Then there was Tess." Jack said. "And I did love her, but for the wrong reasons. She reminded me of _you_. She worked in Section 5, of course _your_ favorite section, and her remarks about my intellect...how could I not fall for her? Same way I fell for you, but she wasn't you. I spent a year in another time-line trying to make it work but it always came back to the attraction fading when she didn't challenge me like you did anymore. The insults, the competition, it's what I loved about us. She moved past that and invested herself in us, and I lost interest. How sad is that!?"

Nathan was about to say something when Jack turned around with a grin and came over to him. He was wondering if he was just making this up to silence him but then he grabbed him and kissed him. And it was not a joke.

"So at least give me that before you disappear again." Jack said as he finally did what he wanted to do for four damned years. He didn't taste like he thought Nathan would, didn't smell like he thought he would...but he wasn't real. But that kiss did feel real and it hopefully would be what haunted him about Nathan from here on out.

"I'll give you more than that if you figure out how to bring me back." Nathan said and Jack looked at him like he hurt him.

"You think I didn't try?" Jack asked. "Is this another one of those issues I have to admit to give us both peace? That I tried to push Fargo and Henry to bring you back? That it's bullshit that this town can fix everything _except_ you? That the true cruelty of you telling me how stupid I am is that I am not smart enough to save you?"

"What if I'm not entirely a figment of your imagination? What if this so called hallucination is enhanced by the energy of the _real_ me that has been floating around for the last year?" Nathan asked. "What if this was supposed to be my way to make amends and push you to committing to taking care of Ally so I could leave Eureka? What if I am tired of watching my daughter grow up without a father and I couldn't think of a better man for that role than you. So the opportunity presented itself to help you stop dancing around the issue and I took it. But if you're not...if you're in love with me than that explains a lot."

"Why aren't you disappearing?"

"Because that selfish asshole you fell in love with wants to have that life with you instead of selflessly asking you to take care of his family for him. So, let's go to Henry and Grace and let's see if they can help now. Now that the technology is here and able to concentrate my consciousness enough for me to hijack your hallucinations. Now that I can help."

"I just kissed a ghost and you want me to march into Henry's and demand he bring you back because it felt real and you won't go away?"

Nathan bent down and kissed him. Surprised at how much feeling he put into something he didn't know he could have. "Yeah. Afraid of sounding stupid? Kinda late for that."

"More like I'm afraid that this is some way to punish myself some more for not being the one sacrificed in that vacuum chamber." Jack said. "It's my job to put my life on the line for this town, not yours. It was your wedding day, what happened to you telling me to not screw it up?"

"I couldn't let you die." Nathan said softly. "I know you would have and I knew what was going to happen so...I did it. And in that last minute of my existence I didn't think about Ally or me...I thought about you. You and that look on your face that said that you couldn't believe I had it in me to be the hero when it would cost me my life instead of earn me accolades. And in that minute I realized I didn't care that I should have been getting married because she wasn't the one I was fighting over for the last year. It was _you_. At least I could be dematerialized knowing that just once, just once, you looked at me like_ that_."

"Like what?" Jack asked, remembering that teary eyed look frozen on Nathan's face before he vanished. That look, that forced smile, that man who turned out to be more than he thought he was.

"Like maybe we both fucked up and missed out on something." Nathan replied. "So after all hope was lost and nobody could bring me back, I wanted to know you were happy. I wanted to know my family was safe. I wanted to stop torturing myself watching life move on _so quickly_ for everyone and questioning if my existence was really worth as much as I lead myself to believe. I wanted to leave because it was hell staying here when nobody cared that I existed except for you and Fargo."

"What the hell." Jack said and ran his hand over his face. "This is exact opposite of working past unresolved issues...you're making more of them!"

"Jack..."

"Nathan!" Jack interrupted. "What the fuck?"

"I really _am_ just drifting in space time and barely holding it together to communicate with you as my last act. So can you please try to get this started before someone fixes this screw up and I lose my ability to communicate with you?"

"You just slipped me tongue, how hard can it be to keep yourself together?" Jack demanded.

"What can I say, you inspire me to overachieve."

Jack felt a hand on his shoulder. Then a squeeze. _Oh shit!_ He was definitely buying this and he hoped to God it was real. "Well then you better start overachieving right now because this entire town ran out of ideas a year ago. In two different time-lines."

"Henry and Grace, talk to them." Nathan instructed and took his hand back. "You can repeat what I'm saying and sound smart. Win-win even if this doesn't work."

Jack felt a slap on his ass and just looked up at the grin on Nathan's face.

"What?" He asked. "What me to smack you in the head instead? Get moving."

* * *

"In conclusion, it's possible that instead of my brain hallucinating to find a compatible person to share memories with that it instead connected to the energy field that's been floating beside me for for the last year." Jack said and put his hands on his hips and watched Henry and Grace think it over. "Consider exoskeletonism?"

"Esotericism." Nathan corrected him and shook his head.

"Esotericism!" Jack shouted and heard Nathan mumble about him still screwing up words that were being whispered in his ear. "Shut up!"

Henry watched Jack swat at the air and then wince and grab his hand.

"Oh my god, your ghost abs broke my hand!" Jack shook his hand and watched Nathan grin. "This isn't funny! You and your impossible physique can just stay in space time hell for all I care."

"Want me to take my shirt off again?" Nathan offered.

"NO!" Jack rubbed his hand. "Leave your shirt on."

"Pants?"

"YES PANTS TOO."

"Jack." Henry hated to interrupt this one man show as it was sending Grace into adorable giggling fits, but he was afraid Jack might actually end up flailing around and hurting himself. "Perhaps your unresolved issue with Nathan isn't about Allison."

"Huh." Nathan said and raised his eyebrows. "Looks like your flirting didn't go unnoticed."

"Mine?" Jack hissed. "You're the one who can't keep your clothes on."

"Jack." Henry tried not to smile but failed. "I've known Nathan a long time and you and I have been close friends since you've come to Eureka. Even if I was blind I could have still seen there was more to the fighting between you two than Allison."

"So you think this is just me having to acknowledge my attraction to Stark?" Jack asked.

"Tell him I'm desperate enough..." Nathan began.

"Hey!" Jack looked at him offended. "This is why I think you're an asshole, you know that _right_?"

Nathan continued through gritted teeth. "I'm desperate enough to consider a pseudoscience. Being dematerialized should have deleted me completely from this world. Instead I'm here as some conscious energy without a body or mind to be able to produce these thoughts. I should honestly be willing to dissolve out of existence because my very ability to do this goes against every fundamental belief I have in physics and science itself."

"That's not true." Jack said. "You believed in the artifact."

"It was a physical piece of evidence of something far greater than any of us." Nathan explained. "It was everything."

"So you'll believe in some magical glowing globe of knowledge but admitting the paranormal might exist is too far...even if you're a ghost?"

"I'm not a ghost. I am..."

"You _are_ a ghost." Jack suddenly said excitedly. "And I know an expert in the field of paranormal and the occult and mysterious energy!"

"There's a surprise, you know someone with a Masters in Bullshit." Nathan drawled.

"Are you talking about Dr. Drechmeyer?" Henry asked.

"No...but that's a good idea too." Jack shouted excitedly as he pointed at Henry.

"Not it's not." Nathan rolled his eyes. "Unless you're going to ask for empirical data to justify his continued employment."

"You need to stop working as the GD director and start working on undeading yourself so you can go back to being the living breathing GD director, OK?" Jack said.

"I told you I'm worried about how much time I have to communicate with you, so stopping you from running around chasing stupid leads _is_ in my best interest."

"Chasing my stupid leads is how I work!" Jack said and threw his hand up. "And looking after your best interests is how _you_ work."

"We're right back to that conversation from earlier." Nathan said, referencing the discussion on the bridge as Jack darted over to Henry. "Why are you always running everywhere?"

"Shut up." Jack said and looked back at Henry. "Can you ask the Ghostbuster guy if he can bring some kind of device to tell if Nathan really is here?"

"Sure Jack." Henry looked around his destroyed lab. "Did you want me to prioritize that over figuring out this resonance issue that is destroying Eureka or..."

"Shit." Jack said and waved his hands. "No, I'll leave you to get to work on that. Um...I'll talk to him at GD."

"Who else were you thinking to bring in as an expert?" Henry asked out of curiosity.

"Who you gonna call?" Nathan asked in a sing song voice.

"My sister." Jack replied and heard Nathan groan.

"The one who thinks the cat is your Grandmother?" Nathan laughed. "I'm doomed."

"Shut up and get in the car." Jack said and stormed out. "I don't hear you coming up with any ideas, just bitching about mine. Who's the genius? Huh? Save your own ass! Oh wait, you never do!"

"It's a great ass though." Nathan said and that got Jack to turn around and look at him before going over to his Jeep. "Fine. Maybe she can transmute my soul to a flying toaster or suit of armor or something. That's the kind of hokey shit she is an 'expert' in right?"

"Where have I heard that before?" Jack asked and narrowed his eyes at him. "Have you been watching anime with Zoe?"

"And baseball with you." Nathan admitted. "Hate to admit I'm kinda getting into it."

"Anime or baseball?" Jack asked and then added. "Or haunting me?"

"All of the above?"

"Well if you were paying attention to her show you would have learned that doing dumb shit like bringing people back from the dead costs you an arm and a leg." Jack said and got his keys out. "So, make up your mind on what you really want because insulting me while I stick my neck out for you is getting old."

"I appreciate you Jack, but even you admit this is how we work best." Nathan said. "It's how we save the day."

"Which begs the question, what he hell is going to come of this when you're alive again?"

"I hear it takes dinner and many many drinks to get you naked, so we'll start there."

"Get in the car." Jack said and went over to the drivers side to let himself in.

* * *

"Dr. Drechmeyer?" Jack knocked on the lab where he had first met the theoretical physicist and walked in. "I'm here to talk to you about your TIRDS."

Nathan started cackling. "I'm sorry...it's funny because that's exactly what his 'science' boils down to."

"Sheriff Carter?" Drechmeyer rolled over in his wheely office chair. "Do you have a paranormal disturbance?"

"You could definitely call it that." Jack said and walked over. "Do you have that..thermal imaging...radioactive dispenser? Can you point in this general direction?"

"Honestly I'm not even going to correct you because at this point being radiated into oblivion may just be less painful than listening to you talk." Nathan looked up at the ceiling. "How am I attracted to you? How do such gorgeous blue eyes end up being a window to the void?"

"You think my eyes are...gorgeous?" Jack asked and forgot he didn't explain to the good doctor that he had a ghost following him.

"Well, it's scientific fact but I don't understand why that requires Thermal Imaging _Reactive Displacement_." Dr. Drechmeyer said and saw those beautiful blues turn on him, confused. Sheriff Carter was beautiful and he finally felt lucky to be divorced.

"Oh...uh...thanks." Jack said and heard Nathan utter a noise that sounded like a cat hissing beside him. "But I'm needing to know if you're picking up on any energy here."

"Are you asking me out?" Drechmeyer asked. "Because, yes, I'm definitely picking up on some..."

"No!" Jack said and turned to Nathan who was looking at the shorter scientist with a look of scorn. "Dr. Stark is haunting me and I need to know if it's a figment of my imagination or if he's an actual ghost."

"Are you sure you're not asking me out because this is very much a fantasy date of mine."

"Which? Me being haunted or Ghost Stark looking at you like he's going to fire you?"

"Wonder if I can hit him." Nathan asked and tried to slap him. It didn't work. "Damn. Gets all my touching is reserved for you Jack."

"He's really here?" Drechmeyer asked. "I knew it! I put in a requisition form to study the time lab after it happened and was denied! Greatest minds in the world and none of them can handle the fear that proof of the unknown will jeopardize everything they were taught about physics and leave them without a leg to stand on."

"Is that a Fullmetal Alchemist reference?" Jack asked.

"What does he mean his request was denied?" Nathan asked.

"Hang on, I'll get my meter." Drechmeyer spun his chair and shoved against the wall, sending the office chair shooting across the room. "You know, all these physicists are terrified about being proven wrong even though Einstein himself theorized that ghost could be real."

"No he didn't." Nathan rolled his eyes. "That's _not _what the principle of conservation of energy is about."

Jack stayed silent as Nathan got into scientist mode and walked into the lab to look around and yell at the guy for being an idiot. Fortunately, Drechmeyer couldn't hear him, but pissing off Nathan seemed to be a likely way to ensure he had angry ghost energy that could be detected. "So Einstein, huh?"

"He proved that energy is a constant and can not be created or destroyed. So if we die and the energy is released where does it go?" Drechmeyer came back with the meter and turned it on.

"Try decomposition you fucking idiot." Stark yelled.

"Oh my god! I got a spike!"

"That's cause he's next to you." Jack said and the scientist finally jumped out of his chair and right through Nathan.

"Really?" Drechmeyer asked.

"Tell him he's a moron and have him fired!" Nathan exclaimed. "He doesn't understand basic physics and I don't understand why he's still getting a paycheck! This place is going to hell without me."

"Yeah. He's excited." Jack nodded his head. "So, do you have any ideas about how we can take that energy and reassemble it into a seven foot tall angry scientist in an expensive suit?"

"Actually bring him over...from _the other side_?"

"The other side of _real science_ you fucking fraud." Nathan looked at Jack. "Six foot four, thank you."

"Are you sure you weren't here to ask me out?" Drechmeyer asked curiously.

"Yeah, Murray, pretty sure." Jack said and Nathan shot the guy another nasty look.

"OK, well... I'll need to think about this and get back to you."

"He's going to masturbate." Stark said. "You got him excited and he's going to his desk to take care of it. Nice job, Carter. He's not able to help us anyway."

Jack winced as Nathan slapped his head on the way out of the lab. He waved a good-bye to Drechmeyer and ran after Stark. "Why would you jump to that conclusion?"

"Let's just say you have had that effect on me."

"Are you kidding?" Jack squawked and everyone in the hall stopped to look at him as he talked to himself. Then more quietly he asked, "You're serious!?"

"Let's go fix this resonance problems so you can get Henry's help." Nathan demanded. "I need my body back so I can fire that idiot."

* * *

"_Actually it's called an aura._"

"Lexi, I'm already being ridiculed by the ghost about proper terminology, do you think you can just skip it and get to the good parts?" Jack asked as he stood in the lobby of GD and looked up at the director's office as Allison, Henry and Fargo all wrapped up the latest disaster to strike Eureka. Hopefully his Jeep was one of the things being wrapped up and returned to him so he didn't have to use Andy's car.

"_Like what?_"

"Like how to have him stop being a ghost and start being a person again."

"_This is the hot guy that vaporized on his wedding day, right?_"

"Yeah, that's him." Jack said, not even bothering to address the fact that his sister clearly saw him eyeing the wrong person too.

"_You know, sometimes you have to repeat things over and over because the universe wants you to correct a mistake." _

"You don't say." Jack wondered now if he should have kissed Nathan instead of Ally on that one failed attempt to correct the problem. He didn't want to think about it too much because the last thing he wanted was another horrible time loop episode.

"_Aura is a human energy field_."

"Lexi, I don't want a lecture on vocabulary, can you tell me what I need to do to bring someone back to their body after they have been dispersed into energy and have been floating around for a year?" Jack asked and walked over to Stark who seemed miffed he wasn't up in his old office raising hell.

"_Necromancy?_"

"Hey? Do we have a necromancer at GD?" Jack tugged on Nathan's sleeve to get his attention now that he was more conscious about talking to the ghost in public.

"Have you seen what this place has become without me? Sure as hell wouldn't be surprised." Nathan said and shook his head as he looked around the atrium at GD while Allison, Henry and Fargo concluded the resonance problem in his office. "Surprised Eva Thorn didn't sell out a whole floor to Hasbro for Ouija Board improvements."

"You're not helping."

"Oh, you were being serious." Nathan said and rolled his eyes. "No, Jack. There is no PhD in necromancy and even if there was I doubt it would help me return to my corporeal form since there is no physical body to put my spirit in. I don't need to be called via seance, I'm right here."

"Wait...did you just say _corporeal_?" Jack asked and Lexi started asking who he was talking to.

"It means..."

"I know what it means." Jack snapped his fingers. "I got it, I know what we need to do!"

* * *

"Don't ever say I don't learn anything!" Jack hollered as soon as Nathan emerged, in corporeal form, from the chamber they had used to bring Walter Perkins back to his body. He couldn't believe he didn't think about this before, but then again, he didn't exactly comprehend where Nathan was until today.

"Welcome back Nathan." Henry said and helped his old friend from the chamber as Allison came over to check his vitals. "I'm sorry we didn't try harder."

"You tried everything, everything I would have tried." Nathan said and looked up at Jack who was grinning from ear to ear. "Leave it to Jack to save my ass."

"It's a great ass." Jack said without thinking about the fact that both Allison and Henry could see Nathan now and were part of their conversations. He winced as Allison gave him a questioning glance.

"'Great ass' as in..._huge jackass_." Jack said and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm going to go sheriff somewhere else. Glad to be of service! Stop by the office for your undeading forms."

Nathan watched him turn, wave and leave and Henry shake his head while trying to hide a smile. He looked to Ally who was noticeably shaken by his reappearance. "So, I have a daughter?"

Allison finally looked him in the eyes and stammered. "Oh my God, yes. Jenna."

"I'd like to meet her." Nathan said and watched her almost drop her medical scanner. He took a deep breath. He wanted to resume living immediately but the unfortunate reality was that he was going to have to wade through some emotional waters before being allowed to do that. Henry and Jack just accepted his return like he just stepped off the helicopter from a visit to D.C., Ally was suddenly drowning in her guilt and confusion. He looked out into the hall as Jack turned and looked back at him and gave him a supportive salute. He appreciated the fact that he understood there was a lot for him to start managing before he could stop by the Sheriff's office and fill out paperwork. He appreciated the offer more than he could put into words though.

"Of course." Allison said and stood up. "I'll bring her to the infirmary to see you. Nathan, I can't just release you without a proper physical."

Right. Because that wasn't about buying her time. "I wouldn't ask you to."

"Come on then." Henry said and helped him stand up. "Let's get this over with so you can go about getting your life back."

* * *

"Hey." Jack said as Nathan finally walked through the door. "Look what I have for you! Form 924/B!"

Nathan walked over and fell into the chair opposite of Jack and looked around the barely lit Sheriff's office. The only thing on was the lamp on his desk. "You didn't have to wait for me, I've been gone a year and waiting until morning..."

"Would be ridiculous when we can have this bureaucratic nonsense filled out, in triplicate, and waiting for the DoD in the morning." Jack said and slapped a pen on the papers and pushed it over to Nathan who looked genuinely worn out. He wasn't sure if that was some kind of 'Space-Time Jet Lag' or if his conversation with Allison just went _that _well.

"So, I got to see Jenna." Nathan said and picked up the pen and realized how surreal it felt to actually be able to write. A year of trying to pick up things and leave messages and he finally was able to use a pen to write. It was odd the things you took for granted.

"Allison's going to take time..."

"Don't make excuses for her, Jack. I know my ex-wife." Nathan said. "You said it yourself, she moved on fast. Dissolved my estate, donated my things, erased me from her life just as quickly as I was erased from the timeline. Even that logic diamond is in a safe deposit box in the bank."

"Actually..." Jack opened his desk drawer and pulled out a bank book, a storage key and business card. "I did all that, granted she asked me to...but I did it. When she went on leave after you died...dematerialized...whatever. Kinda one of those things you pick up on when you're in the Marshall service is how to pack up a life. Witness protection and witnesses that weren't protected kinda thing."

Nathan reached over and picked up the items Jack placed in front of him. He had spent the month after his disappearance trying to keep himself together and following Ally around. Even if his last thoughts were of Jack, part of him couldn't stop himself from making sure Ally was OK. Maybe it was to punish himself for leaving her, maybe it was because he didn't know where else to go.

"Obviously GD went through your things and packed up what they deemed theirs, but they put your stuff on a separate truck. Allison said donate it, but I'm not exactly sure who needs some giant's expensive suits...so I put it all in storage. Sold your stupid car to pay for it, put all that money in a savings account to generate interest so it would never run out and could keep paying for the storage place. Allison took care of your bank account, took a while to get around to it, but when she did Jenna was already in the picture and she put it in her name so when she turned 18 she had something from you. Originally I put your stuff in storage because I thought we would get you back...then Jenna came along and I thought she deserved to know who her Dad was. It's all there, even the unopened bottles of Scotch."

Nathan looked up at him, tears forming in his eyes as he realized Jack didn't let go. Jack would have been the one to never let his memory die and would have let Jenna know who her father was.

"Oh, except for the Nobel." Jack winked. "I know where that is. Old folks home. "

"I..don't know what to say Jack."

"Tell me what you need." Jack said. "I can't imagine this went over well with Allison."

"That's an understatement." Nathan said. "She wouldn't let me hold my own daughter."

Jack leaned back in his chair and looked at the ceiling. He felt like he was going to lose both Nathan and Allison to each other. Curse of doing the right thing. That made him feel selfish, because it's not like he had any reason to think he had a shot at either of them now. Nathan had a kid and a fiance. He just had a kiss and a promise of something more that now was never going to come to fruition with either party. "Need a place to stay? I have a guest room. S.A.R.A.H. always liked you. Gotta warn you though, she and Deputy Andy are seeing each other and I'm sure he's in her closet right now fingering her...ports."

"I am serious about what I said earlier, Jack. Being back doesn't change anything." Nathan started filling in the forms, the comfort of doing paperwork not lost on him. "Actually being back has reaffirmed my decision. You've done a lot for me and this all goes well beyond the job. I'd like to take you up on the offer but I'm not quite sure I can keep my hands to myself. It's been a year and sensory deprivation is a hell of an experience. It's been a year of nothing but thinking and watching. I'm ready to get back to living and I don't want to waste time doing so and I most definitely do not want to be alone tonight. So do you want to go to Cafe Diem and get dinner to-go while I fill this out?"

"I can do that." Jack said and leaned forward in his chair so his arms were back on his desk and he was looking at Nathan's eyes, intense and focused on him. "I'll wait on you to finish. I don't want to take my eyes off you in case you do something heroic and vanish again."

It was endearing, but Jack obviously didn't want to leave him alone after what he said. "You just want to stare at me and fantasize about me being naked again."

"Maybe." Jack said with a chuckle and settled back into his chair to watch Nathan focus on the paperwork and his hand move so crispy as he filled it out. The only sound Jack focused on was the sound of the pen rolling on the paper, the last thing he wanted to hear was the tickling of the clock on the wall. He had to force himself to blink, worried that when he took his eyes off him he might just cease to exist.


	2. I Want To Believe

**AN:** Sometimes chapter titles are like hunting down a mystical creature that only one person has ever seen and sometimes they just fall in your lap. _Sometimes_ I get excited about chapter titles and let them derail the chapter. Final chapter of this little fix-it fic, I got other episodes to fix and a scientist to put in a WW2 uniform.;)

* * *

_The Ex-Files_

Chapter 2

**I Want To Believe**

* * *

They arrived at the bunker a few hours later thanks to several delays. The first stop for dinner held them up for almost forty-five minutes. Nathan was surprised at how excited Vincent was to see him and the man promptly promised to make his favorite dishes, which of course took time. The few Eureka residents in Cafe Diem also were also delighted to see him, as they now had evidence of the rumors of his return to be true and had quickly progressed to asking for specifics about it. That took more time. Fargo arrived and declared he was going to lobby to get him his job back as Director of GD, while also handing him a box of his GD gym clothes that had been encased in a time capsule in the Nathan Stark Memorial Hallway. That awkward moment was ended by the arrival of Dr. Drechmeyer who wisely chose to sulk back out after Nathan blocked his view of Jack with his body and shot him a warning glare.

When he thought he was _finally_ in the clear, Jack drove them to the supermarket and parked the Jeep. Apparently he was going to buy him what he needed, necessity wise, and wouldn't take no for an answer. After Jack made a comment about using his own cheap-ass shampoo or Zoe's produce scented stuff, Nathan felt it was a good move. So another hour wasted as he bought hair care, underwear, soap, brush, shaving cream and razor and a toothbrush to get him restarted on life. He wondered if this was the service the US Marshalls provided for recently released prisoners or if Jack was really that precept when he wanted to be.

So Nathan was absolutely exhausted when they got to the bunker which was why it took him longer than it should to comprehend what was happening when they walked inside. Sarah's lights flickered and the closet door opened to reveal Jack's AI Deputy. "That never stops being creepy."

Jack snorted, amused he was using his line from earlier that day. "And you're the one who likes robots."

"Not like this."

"Welcome home Sheriff!" S.A.R.A.H. chirped as if she hadn't been caught with her firewalls down.

"Hi Boss!" Deputy Andy said with his eerily happy grin plastered to his face. "You must be Dr. Stark! It's a real pleasure to meet you sir. Your advancements in AI and robotics are the the reason I'm alive."

"Oh, so it's _your_ fault he's pleasuring my house." Jack whispered and unfastened his gun belt and started to walk to the kitchen.

Nathan couldn't help but be fascinated with the Deputy as he really was a product of his own research, except it was research that the DoD took from his house after he had been declared legally dead. There was a lot he was going to have to wade through when he got his life back. "I'd be very interested in taking a look at your systems, Andy."

"Now who's playing doctor with the robot?" Jack yelled as he unbuttoned his shirt on the way to getting himself a beer.

"I don't _play_ doctor, Carter."

"Now we're back to Carter, huh? I was getting used to hearing you call me Jack. Seemed like you couldn't get enough of saying it back at the office."

Nathan found his interest in Andy fade as Jack's playful voice lured him into the kitchen. "My last word was your name. I occurred to me how much I liked the sound of it rolling off my tongue a little too late."

Jack had to clear his throat as he turned and found Nathan standing right there. He handed him his beer, as if that was going to hide the tinge of red flushing his cheeks.

"Great men are defined by their last words, if you think I hadn't planned to say something earth-shattering on my deathbed, you're wrong." Nathan said and his eyes locked on to Jack's as he accepted the offered beer. "I might have surprised myself when the moment came, but it certainly wasn't a disappointment."

"Hey, Boss?" Andy asked, ruining the moment. "S.A.R.A.H. and I..."

"Go back in the closet Andy!" Jack snapped. "S.A.R.A.H. Take the night off, OK? For both our sakes."

Nathan smirked. "It's funny that this house is actually the future I dreamed of. AI integrated systems, so integrated they're a part of your family. Andy's based on the research I did that created Callister."

"Probably should have taken the hint you put some kink in there when I found out Jo was dating Callister at some point." Jack mumbled and then froze, checking to see if he had crossed a line. Callister was always a sensitive topic.

"Not exactly the Father-son talks we had." Nathan admitted. "That was his AI learning and Jo doing the teaching."

"Good to know Andy wasn't a sex robot right out of the box and my house was the one who corrupted him." Jack snorted.

"You have that effect on people." Nathan said and gave him an exaggerated look over.

Jack couldn't hide the blush now. "Okay, the day's already weird enough without you reminding me that I..."

"Are a flirty and hot piece of ass that half of GD won't admit they fantasize about being arrested by?" Nathan asked as he took a sip of beer. His first taste of _anything_ since he had been back and his senses were on overload as he savored the fermented yeast drink. He never thought he's be so thrilled to taste the mass produced generic beer Jack seemed to enjoy, but as the carbonation tingled on is tongue he felt himself relax a little. He felt alive, because nothing this mediocre could have such an array of delightful flavors unless he had truly been without food and drink for a year.

"I'm going to go take a shower." Jack said and his smile wouldn't go away, but his blush deepened. "Unless you want to first?"

"You go first." Nathan said. "I'm going to be in there a while."

"Hair care or hand care?" Jack asked, trying to keep things light as Nathan studied his amber glass of beer like it was a treasured experiment.

"I've been floating in space-time for a year, I'm really going to enjoy remembering what a hot shower feels like." Nathan smirked. "If you can wait til I'm done, I wouldn't mind remembering what a hot body feels like either."

"Are you sure you want to just jump right in..." Jack was cut off by a tender kiss. Soft, sensual and Stark. Finally a taste of the man he'd been thinking about for years, he wasn't expecting it to taste like his beer though. No complaints, but he felt bad that he didn't have a real drink to offer the guy if only to help convince himself this was real.

"I've had nothing but time." Nathan assured him. "So please go take a shower before I drag you in there myself and forget about being clean."

That voice almost made him melt, the words almost made him beg him to follow through on his threat. He knew what he wanted and he wasn't afraid to say it, if he said he expected any less from Nathan he would be lying. "Well if you want to eat, feel free. I'm sure you didn't get anything to eat at GD."

"I'm fine." Nathan admitted. "I'd appreciate you talking to me though, it's going to be hard to hear you and have you out of sight and not start questioning my existence. I spent the last year following you around and your home is familiar, almost_ too familiar_ for comfort right now."

"Yeah." Jack nodded. He could definitely understand that. Then he replayed the events of the last year and narrowed his eyes at Stark. "How much did you...watch?"

"Well I tried giving you privacy when you and Tess were dating, but if you didn't have boundaries or regard for the many many surfaces in this bunker you should not have had sex on, why should I?" Nathan shrugged.

"Great."

"You live in an AI house who has cameras everywhere and has established that she records everything." Nathan said dryly. "Who do you think S.A.R.A.H learned her tricks from, _Jack_?"

"Oh my God." Jack said and looked over at the closet then to the ceiling. Then he purposely added for S.A.R.A.H.'s benefit, "Thank God she's _turned off_ for the rest of the night_._"

"More like getting off." Nathan said and grinned.

"OK, I'm taking a shower."

Nathan watched him disappear and tried to still the panic he felt as Jack became no more than a shadow behind the bathroom door. Instead of taking a seat on the couch he walked into the hall, leaned against the wall and slid to the floor to sit outside the bathroom like a needy house pet. He had kept it together all afternoon and most of the evening, but it was surreal _being real_ here in the confines of Jack's home. He had no reference for this prior to his dematerialization, other than that B.R.A.D situation, so he found it hard to ground himself. "I'm sorry I intruded on your privacy. At the time, it was focused on not losing my one connection to the world even if you were unaware of my presence."

"Nathan.." Jack said as he turned on the water and looked over his shoulder at the door, his voice was so close he knew he had to be hovering outside. "I'm not upset. It's not like you haven't seen me naked, a lot, outside the walls of this house."

"It has, however, afforded me the opportunity to get to know you pretty well. Your habits, your intimate details, your inability to turn your mind off at night." Nathan sat, back to the wall, and stretched out his long legs across the floor of the hallway. "You don't hide yourself the way I do. That puts you at a disadvantage because I'm invested in starting over with you and you don't really know me. Even though you've dealt with two versions of me and still managed to overlook my less than desirable traits and fall in love with me."

Jack stepped into the shower and let the hot water roll over him as he found himself being quite content with a heartfelt discussion with Nathan Stark. That was something he never thought he'd have. He didn't keep his thoughts to himself, knowing Nathan had to have discussion to put him at ease and keep his mind happy. "I have to admit, I never expected you to be this open and honest. When I considered what a relationship would be with you, I knew you'd be closed off most of the time. I knew you had it in you, I saw it with Callister, but I watched those walls go back up the next day."

"Funny thing about being nothing more than thoughts and watching yourself be remembered as nothing more than that facade you hid behind, it makes you want to live. Makes you want to share a little more, makes you want to be more than a name carved in granite." Nathan said simply as words just spilled from his mouth that he had not voiced. He had used the same words to keep himself sane when he thought to himself in the space-time void, but it was different when he said them . "I said your name as my last words and I knew from the effect it had on both of us that I had taken so much for granted. I watched for a year as you refused to forget me and wrongly thought it was because you were comparing yourself to me in order to win over Ally."

"You haunted me." Jack admitted then added. "And no, don't get snarky about that being an obvious assessment of the situation."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"Because a ghost can't dream?"

"Precisely." Nathan rolled his eyes, recalling how much he loved doing that because of Jack. How that one exaggerated, dramatic motion could bring back a wave of emotions...made him curse himself for being so blind to the chemistry they had; To being blind to why they could ignite a reaction at every meeting. Or maybe it had been his own fear that refused to let him see it, fear of starting something with the town Sheriff only for him to ruin it like he did every relationship and the repercussions of that in the town. A town that loved Jack Carter more then they cared for him.

Jack shampooed his hair and as he was lathering up the soap and rubbing it around he continued, "That time chamber, that time-loop thing...it haunted me because it should have been me."

"You have a daughter." Nathan said, it sounded more heroic than 'Nobody missed me but everyone would have missed you'.

"So do you."

"One I am not allowed to touch." Nathan said and was surprised by his own lack of anger. He knew it would come but he just felt lost. He watched Jack be there for so much, knowing that he would have been absent anyway if he had been alive. That was just how fate played his hand where Ally was concerned, especially after Jack arrived in Eureka. "Had we switched places, it wouldn't have changed much. If I got remarried it would have ended fast, if it ever started. I would have thrown myself into working out a way to get you back and that was exactly what ended my marriage the first time."

"You had another Sheriff you were secretly in love with who sacrificed himself to a space-time loop device to save the world?"

"Yes, Jack. I have a type." Nathan smiled as he rolled his eyes again.

Jack laughed as he rinsed his hair out. He missed how Nathan could sound so exhausted by his stupid comments, of all the things you could say you missed about a guy you just confessed your love to this morning. "You could! This is a timeline I'm still figuring out. I mean if Fargo can be head of GD, I guess anything's possible."

"I really want to hear about your trip to 1947." Nathan said. "I was beside you when you came back in that uniform and I thought I was beginning to lose time as you changed from one uniform to another in front of my eyes. Not eyes...floating particles of consciousness."

"I could really use some insight into this timeline too." Jack said and ran over himself with the soap. "I guess being stuck in space time doesn't exempt you from the timeline change, huh?"

"Nope." Nathan said. "Just fucked up in two separate timelines, exactly the same way. I would have had to time travel with you and I didn't. Shame, I really would have looked good in uniform."

Jack turned off the water. Yeah, what he wouldn't give to have seen that show up at the dance. However this reminded him of his own predicament. "Ally and I kissed in 1947 and again in the hall at GD. It felt like something. I think...maybe if you didn't decide to come back home that she and I might have used this as a way move past our unresolved issues and made something of it."

"I don't doubt you would have been sleeping with her instead of me tonight." Nathan put his head back against the wall. "One thing she and I have in common is that we don't waste time going for something we determine we want."

That revelation almost took Jack's knees out from under him. Like he had just split the timeline again with his choice in sex partners.

"Disappointed?" Nathan asked, unsettled by the silence.

"Weirded out a little." Jack admitted. "I act to save people because it's who I am, I'm not used to having my personal decisions impact the future like this."

"You've done nothing but impact lives since the very first day you stepped in Eureka." Nathan said. "The world is better for it."

Jack came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and said, "I just screwed up the world by accidentally going back to 1947, kinda hard to not feel a little self conscious about it."

"Yet not self conscious about walking out all wet and wearing a towel?" Nathan grinned. "That's one way to bring me back to life."

"Oh shut up! You've been taking off your clothes all day." Jack fired back. "And I'm not quite over the fact that I chose the legally dead guy over the woman I've been pining after for 4 years. I'm not used to overthinking things."

"What's to think about?" Nathan asked. "You're a cop. You're more aware than anyone that a single, split second decision can change your life forever."

"Maybe I have forgotten about that." Jack said. The days of him praying before his shift were long gone, even though the probability of near death experiences had gone up. "Eureka may be hard on me physically, but we always manage to reverse the bad decisions."

"Speaking of reckless endangerment, Sheriff, " Nathan looked up at him and smiled. "Can you please put some clothes on before you kill me before I can even be declared undead?"

"Go take a shower." Jack said with a wave and the towel dropped over his hip a little, making Nathan grunt. He had to grin, it was a confidence boost to be able to make the man feel that way. He made his way upstairs and threw the towel on a chair as he slipped into his pajama pants and a T-shirt. He wanted to believe this was the new Nathan, but part of him remembered that cold shoulder after that night with Callister. He couldn't forget how that vulnerability only lasted so long, even if it softened the edges of their interactions. Somehow, making it clear it was Jack's choice tonight, was a little overwhelming. Of course he made choices, every damned day, but not like this. Not standing at a fork in the road determining which route he wanted to take for the rest of his life.

He still wasn't going to leave the guy alone when he asked for company, no matter how much he needed the time to think. So Jack hurried and went downstairs and reheated dinner before going back to the hall and sitting down on the floor where Nathan had been. "Alright, dinner's started."

"I freaked you out, didn't I?" Nathan asked from inside the bathroom.

"A little." Jack said and pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapped his arms around them and rested his chin on his hands. "I want to believe, Nathan. I really do. However I'm afraid that once your life is back together and you have it all back that you're going to want it _all _back."

"What do _you_ want, Jack?"

"I want you." Jack said and words fell from his lips that he would have vehemently denied this morning before he went to work. Because it hurt too much to think of what was lost, what never could have been. Now, it was an undeniable truth. "I've been head over heels in love with you from the day we first met."

"Then let's put everything back on course, the way it should have been from the beginning." Nathan said as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling and smell of washing his hair. "I'm not saying it will be easy, I acknowledge I'm difficult, but you work with me better than anyone ever has. Do you want me to dumb down this science for you Jack? Fine. You and me, we work. We're a chemical reaction that sparks and combusts, but bonds strong."

"Do we?"

"You're the only one who's ever gone up against me and dished it right back at me. You made me admit I was wrong, the only one who showed me I wasn't the answer to everything." Nathan rinsed out the soap and stared up at the ceiling as it ran down his back. "And I loved every minute of it. It felt so damned good this morning to have that back, even if it was going to be for the last time."

Jack's eyes darted over to the door and he thought about that. Nathan was ready to give it all up, no...give it _to him_. That happy life of his, with the woman they both thought they loved. That was a changed man. "I can't help but feel a little shallow for just abandoning what I worked four years to cultivate with Allison. How fickle am I if I just drop it all for the first scientist who rematerializes from space time?"

Nathan was done with his shower and quickly toweled off before wrapping the towel around himself and walking over to the door. He would shave in the morning, right now he didn't want to hear uncertainty in Jack's voice. He opened it and dramatically leaned against the door frame to get the exact reaction he was hoping for from Jack. He could see Jack almost forget how to swallow as he looked him over. Good. He didn't work so damned hard to have this body, or get it back, to not be able to have that effect on someone. "Let's skip dinner for now. Allow me to get all those thoughts out of your head, because we both know I could talk all night but you're more convinced with action and not words."

Jack looked up as Nathan offered his hand, the other firmly gripped on the towel he had wrapped around his waist. He took his hand and let himself be pulled to his feet, right into Nathan's chest. If there was any doubt about him being real, that was enough to chase away the doubt. Touch and talk were one thing, being pulled to his feet by a ghost would certainly be more difficult. He felt Nathan's hand release his own, only to run up his side, over his chest and up his neck. He shivered and caught his breath at the touch, only to have his jaw cupped and lifted for another kiss. This time he didn't just stand there, he reached up and put his hand into Nathan's wet hair to stop him from pulling away, hungrily kissing him back with a mixture of desire and desperation. Desperation to hold him close and keep him from disappearing again.

"Jack?"

"Mmmm?"

"I've been touch starved and sensory deprived, I'm not quite sure how long I'm going to last..."

Jack kissed him again, knowing that was a painful admission for any man and certainly was far worse for this one. He didn't say anything, just pulled him by the hand to the stairs. He was glad there would be no egos or competition tonight, just raw emotion and honesty. He couldn't say that that would have been the case at any other juncture in their time co-existing in Eureka. By the time they made it to his bedroom, Nathan had already dropped his towel and was pushing Jack down on the bed. Jack found himself quickly undressed as Nathan tried to take charge of the situation to alleviate his fears about stamina. Jack flipped him over and pinned him down first chance he got, not wanting to rush this. "This, scientist, is where time should stand still. So let me welcome you back into your body..."

Nathan's breath hitched as he felt a light kiss to his neck.

"Back to life..."

Nathan felt his heart pound as Jack pressed another kiss to his Adam's apple, while rubbing their naked bodies together oh so subtly but not without a very intense reaction.

"And back to me." Jack said and kissed the other side of his neck, lingering his lips over the pulsating jugular while feeling Nathan's short excited breaths.

It was at that moment when Nathan finally felt like he had come back home. Not four years ago when he came back to Eureka. Not a year ago when he was convinced it would all come together when he remarried Ally. Not this afternoon when his body was finally put back together. Not _ever_, until now. Not until Jack Carter. "You keep saving my ass, Jack."

"It's a great ass." Jack grinned and released Nathan's arms so he could illustrate his point, then kissed him again because he couldn't resist that glow on his face. That glow that said he was finally basking in the warmth of love instead of trying to get the performance out of the way and prove himself. That glow that said he was indeed back amongst the living and ready to share that life with him.


End file.
